How to Address Your Anxiety and Set the Example for Your Team

We all experience anxiety. As a leader, your ability to manage your anxiety is critical to your work. Only by doing so can you make the best decisions for yourself, your team, and your company. But to manage your anxiety, you must first be able to identify it.

The type of anxiety we all experience is temporary and directly related to specific stressors, which often concern health, family, finances, relationships, or work. This situational anxiety feels like worry, dread, nervousness, or fear. Physical symptoms include sweating, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, headache, or stomach pain. Situational anxiety may be fleeting or prolonged, but it is always connected to life events, including current challenges or perceived threats.

Here we will address situational anxiety, which should not be confused with generalized anxiety disorder, a pronounced and persistent form of anxiety that is best addressed with the help of a professional.

Anxiety impacts overall functioning. Reacting to and mismanaging the symptoms of anxiety affects your ability to lead. It can cloud your judgment and result in poor decision making and unpredictable, even erratic, behavior, none of which instills confidence in your team.

It is easy to be reactive to your anxiety. Symptoms often appear quickly; the feelings overcome you and can make you feel helpless. These symptoms add another layer of pressure, especially when you are the leader of an organization tasked with setting an example for others.

How you respond to your anxiety matters. Your team relies on you to be consistent and resilient even when you are struggling with anxiety. By learning to identify and manage your anxiety, you can lead by example and build a healthier, more resilient team. Follow these four steps to get started.

1. Label the symptoms.
We are all vulnerable to anxiety, so it behooves you to be aware of the symptoms so you can recognize them quickly. Don’t live in denial. Start by acknowledging that even the most successful people are sometimes saddled with a paralyzing fear that comes out of the blue. It’s a humbling reality, but anxiety doesn’t discriminate.

It is also helpful to know that anxiety doesn’t just appear in your thoughts; it always has a physical component attached to it. When you become aware of a symptom, such as your mind or heart racing or a tightness in your chest, acknowledge it and name it to yourself. Once you label the symptom, you can attend to it. Finding a solution impedes anxiety’s ability to gain momentum.

It can be comforting to draw the connection between a troubling physical symptom and your anxiety. For example, you might think, “OK, this tight feeling in my chest might be anxiety,” or “I’m really sweating here; what’s going on that might make me anxious?” Drawing that connection gives some context to the existence of the physical symptom, easing your mind and allowing you to address the problem.

2. Attend to the symptoms.
Once you have identified and labeled the feeling or symptom as anxiety, immediately address it. Priority one is to regulate your nervous system. There are several ways to do this, but here are some of my favorites:

Breathing exercises. To calm your system down, take a nice slow breath in through your nose. As you breathe in, think about what you need in that moment and breathe it in with intention. For example, “I am breathing in confidence, calmness, and safety.” Hold the breath for a few seconds, then breathe out slowly through your mouth. Empty your lungs with intention, thinking about what you want to eliminate. For example, “I’m breathing out stress, tension, and self-doubt.” Repeat this exercise a few times.
Intentional distraction. Think about what can serve as a distraction. You might start or join a conversation, drink some water, or hold an ice cube. If possible, consider going for a walk or engaging in some other physical movement. Small gestures often have a big impact when it comes to distracting yourself.
The Four Elements Exercise for Stress Reduction. Developed for EMDR trauma therapy by Elan Shapiro in 2012, this technique is highly effective when you feel anxious because it grounds you in the present. Each step is based on one of the four elements: earth, air, water, and fire. The earth element calls you to put your feet on the ground and feel the earth supporting you. The air element reminds you to breathe so you can center yourself. The water element is calming and can be activated by drinking a glass of water, sipping slowly and intentionally. Finally, the fire element sparks your imagination as you envision a safe place or recall a positive memory. Take a few moments to focus on each element, one at a time.

3. Look for the logic.
Take a moment to think about what is going on in your life — in and out of the workplace. Is there a practical reason behind your anxiety and the symptoms you are experiencing? Are you under a lot of stress or feeling overwhelmed? Are you sleeping poorly? Or is something occurring now that has a thread of similarity to something upsetting that you experienced in the past? All of these factors can contribute to your anxiety. Whether the threat is real or perceived, it is important to understand where it comes from and why these symptoms are drawing your attention to it.

Your anxiety thinks it is helping you by offering a symptom as a warning to that real or perceived threat. If you are not in real danger, reassure yourself that you are OK. For instance, tell yourself, “I am not in danger. I understand why you [referring to the anxiety] think I am, but I’m OK.” As unconventional as that might sound, you must reassure your internal system that you are in charge and safe. When you attend to the symptoms and supportively reassure yourself, you can start to regulate your nervous system.

4. Make a plan.
List everything that might be contributing to your feelings of anxiety or overwhelm, and then write a short plan for how you can take action or cope with each item. Often, an action plan involves changing your schedule or priorities. It also usually includes having some hard conversations. If you need support to improve your communication or coping skills and manage problem-solving or conflicts more effectively, consider my online program for your organization, The Communication Protocol.

Unless the circumstances are minor, your anxiety will probably not go away on its own. Symptoms can grow into more heightened and activated states, so attending to the situation and regaining control before it gets worse is the best remedy. If you have ongoing anxiety and difficulty getting your symptoms under control, seek other solutions, such as professional help, natural remedies, prescription medication, or nutritional advice.

As the person in charge of the organization, how you handle your anxiety will set an example for others. Think carefully before you act and seek to normalize your feelings and symptoms instead of denying them — they can be a helpful warning to stop and pay attention.

Once your anxiety is under control, consider discussing it with your team. Acknowledging your anxiety and sharing how you handle it will humanize you and demonstrate your compassion for others while allowing them to recognize their anxiety and ways of managing it. The impact of your vulnerability will speak volumes.

©Copyright 2022 Debra Roberts, LCSW All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced without permission from the publisher.

 A version of this article was initially published on Inc.com as: 4 Steps to Address Your Anxiety While Serving as a Role Model for Your Team