Definitive communication helps everyone in your business understand what needs to be done. As a result, deadlines are more likely to be met, productivity and efficiency will improve, and stress and conflict are significantly reduced.

Trust increases as well. Your team will find comfort in knowing exactly where you stand and what you expect from them. Removing the guesswork reduces stress and creates an innate sense of relief by providing them with the clear information they need to move forward confidently.

What does non-definitive communication look like?

When you express yourself using non-definitive statements, you leave room for interpretation. Others may receive such statements as hedging and noncommittal, or assume you are seeking opinions or options. Non-definitive statements leave the door open for others to challenge you or press further. Phrases such as “I might,” “I think,” or “I’d probably” signal uncertainty and lead to an opportunity for the other party to move the conversation in their favor or question the strength of your belief.

Consider these examples:

• “I think we should do it this way because…”
• “I might want to do…”
• “I really don’t want to be involved in…”
• “I’d probably decline the offer if they asked me to…”

Even if unintentional, these kinds of statements invite others to interject their perspective, especially if they feel strongly about their position. You might think you are being very clear in expressing yourself. After all, it’s not that you don’t want to do something, it’s that you really don’t want to do that thing.

But a statement of desire is considered noncommittal, and that makes the strength of your message fall flat. If you say, “I really don’t want to,” in response to a request, you leave open the possibility that you could change your mind. You are not presenting definitively, so why would they not push their agenda a little harder to sway your position?

What does definitive communication look like?

When something is important to you, don’t dance around the subject. Instead, be clear about your decision or perspective. 

A definitive response starts with appreciation but makes a clear statement: “Thank you. I am flattered and appreciate that you thought of me, but I must decline.” This response leaves no room for interpretation. In most situations, you don’t need to offer a reason for your decision. Others are usually not as interested in why you turned them down as they are in hearing a simple yes or no.

The key to communicating decisively is using language that reflects certainty, even if you’re still working through the details. Here are some alternatives to non-definitive language:

• Instead of saying, “I think this might work,” say, “This is what we’re going to do as it will help us come to a decision.”
• Instead of saying, “I might want to consider…” say, “I plan to…”
• “I plan to do ___ once we’ve gathered all the data.”
• “This is the approach we’re taking when ___ happens.”
• “I appreciate your perspective, but on this matter, I’m clear about the direction we’re going.”

I once advised a group of affiliate marketers to use more definitive language when discussing a new product that offered clear industry solutions. I suggested replacing “You would like this” or “You should try it” with statements that directly connect to the results and impact, such as: “I have seen this product in action, and it will change the way you do business.”

That’s a true statement, and it has a more powerful punch. When they shifted how they communicated, the results were glaring, and their commissions increased significantly. They were being truthful, but not hesitant or minimalistic in how they presented the information. They spoke with more passion and clarity, and it made a huge difference.

To improve communication, resolve differences, reduce stress, and create deeper connections, bring The Communication Protocol® to your organization. (Now, how’s that for clear, honest, and definitive language?)

Going forward, whenever you are clear about your position and yet find yourself about to say, “I think,” stop and consider rephrasing the statement. Your communication—and your outcomes—will be stronger because of it.

©Copyright 2022 Debra Roberts, LCSW All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced without permission from the publisher.

 A version of this article was initially published on Inc.com as: Master the Art of Definitive Communication